The Mama Journal | Bebe Makes Four

On February 8th at 3:01am, we welcomed our sweet Naia Rose into our lives, and our hearts just about exploded with love.

I keep catching myself hitting the imaginary pause button in my head and just taking it all in. I am a mother of two beautiful girls - how did i get so lucky?

Neve, with her silky blonde hair that curls at the bottom, giant inquisitive blue eyes, and bursting with creativity, joy and kindness. Her determination and passion both exasperate and inspire me. Her compassionate and generous heart is forever teaching me to love more deeply and give more freely. She is my treasure, my little assistant, the one with whom I have shared everything - from picnics to household chores - with for the last 3 1/2 years.

In the last three weeks she has shown so much love and sweetness towards her new baby sister, rocking her in her arms and singing made-up lullabies, helping with every diaper change and outfit change, rushing to her side at the sound of every cry, calling out to every classmate at nursery school: "Look at my baby! Isn't she cute?"

Her entire world has been rocked, and while she's definitely had her moments of extra sensitivity and out-of-character boundary pushing in the last three weeks, her little heart has opened up big to welcome her sister, and it has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. (#hormones)

Then there's this sweet little peach. Little Naia, born after an intense whirlwind labour at 7lbs 5oz of perfect sweetness, looking so much like her sister. Cheeks so soft, a button nose so sweet and rosy lips so perfect I just want to kiss them constantly. It's amazing how natural it has felt to slip back into mothering a newborn. Every night I sit in bed nursing my warm little bundle, stroking her little head, thinking to myself how crazy and wonderful it is to be back in this place. I already love her so much. She holds such a big piece of my heart, and I am soaking up this season of having her so close to me, of being so in-sych with her every need.

She's only been in our arms for three weeks, but it's hard to image life without her. Sometimes I'll catch myself talking about "the girls" in conversation with David and I can't help but smile because it still feels so new and special to have this expression be a part of our lives now. Girls. Plural. We should travel here when the girls are older. The girls would have so much fun doing this. Can you keep an eye on the girls? 

Life is starting to feel normal again. A new normal. A sweeter normal. Sure, that new normal is a little bit more chaotic and complicated. Let's be real... it involves less sleep and more responsibilities and requires me to meet the physical needs of an infant while nurturing the emotional needs of a three-year-old. It involves me getting up to soothe big sister's fever at 3am a mere 5 minutes after nursing and settling the little one. It involves me holding a kleenex in each hand and simultaneously wiping a runny nose and catching baby spit-up. It involves me trying to dress this awkward post-baby body and struggling to occasionally apply a bit of makeup so that I can feel semi-presentable some of the time. But all of those real ups and downs of motherhood are just part of this very rich and worthwhile journey. Because most of all, this new normal finds me filled to the brim with so much love and gratitude for this incredible gift that I've been given. Two beautiful girls to call me 'maman'.

The Mama Journal | 52 Portraits (50, 51 & 52)

I finished this project a few weeks ago, but never got around to posting the last three weeks here on the blog. So here they are, weeks 50, 51 and 52. It's been incredible watching my girl grow up over the past year, and I've loved documenting it in this way. At the end of the post, you can see a side by side comparison of weeks 1 and 52. If you'd like to browse through all 52 weeks, just use the "categories" tab to the left and select "52 portraits" under the "Mama Journal" category. :) 52 Portraits | Week 50

I watched you sing and dance your little heart out at your nursery school Christmas party this week, and seeing you so happy filled my heart with so much joy.

52 Portraits | Week 51

Another Christmas has passed, and my favourite memory of you is the joy and excitement you showed in making, wrapping and giving gifts to your family and friends, asking me how to spell "Je T'aime" on handmade cards and using up about 5 whole rolls of tape to yourself. I love your generous heart.

52 Portraits | Week 52

Whether you are offering me a hand to get up or a glass of water, making sure your papa is wearing a warm hat before walking the dog on a cold night, or kissing my 35-week pregnant belly while whispering "bonjour, ma petite princesse", your nurturing heart is such a gift to your family.

 

The Mama Journal | 52 Portraits (48 & 49)

52 Portraits | Week 48 Whether it's setting the table, putting dishes in the dishwasher, peeling carrots or sorting recycling, I'm constantly amazed by your enthusiasm and ability to genuinely help, and by how quickly you are growing up.

52 Portraits | Week 49

Today you made me smile when you put a stuffed bear under your shirt and said: "I have a baby in my belly, put your hand here to feel it kick! You're going to be such a great big sister to this cute little baby."

The Mama Journal | 52 Portraits (44, 45, 46)

Another three weeks have gone by with me only posting the weekly 52 Portraits Project photos to Facebook, and not here on the blog. Oops! Here are weeks 44, 45, & 46. :) 52 Portraits | Week 44

You've been talking a lot about your baby sister lately, excitedly telling me all of the things you want to teach and share with her - it's hard to believe you are just 14 weeks away from big-sisterhood.

 

52 Portraits | Week 45

Today we ran outside to catch the first fluffy snowflakes of the season on our tongue, and it made me so happy to see how excited you were about Winter's arrival - just like your mama!

 

52 Portraits | Week 46

In the middle of a passionate conversation about how much we love muffins (you are your mother's daughter, after all), you grabbed my face with both hands, kissed my forehead and said "Maman, tu es ma meilleure amie!" ("mommy, you're my best friend!")

The Mama Journal | 52 Portraits (41, 42, 43)

I've been posting these on Facebook and forgetting to post them on the blog as well, so here are the last three weeks! :) Can't believe there are only 9 more to go! 52 Portraits | 41

We took our cameras to the park on this very gloomy day - you excitedly photographed leaves and squirrels, reminding me so much of my enthusiasm for photography as a child. I love seeing pieces of myself in you.

52 Portraits | 42

I've been under the weather this week, and on the hardest day you let me lie on the couch, making sure I had a steady supply of water, bananas and kisses while you played quietly beside me and let me rest - Thank you, sweet girl.

52 Portraits | 43

This year, you weren't a baby being dragged out in a cute costume, you were a big girl excited about experiencing the fun for herself, not needing to hold my hand and happily proclaiming "trick or treat" and "thank you!" at every door you knocked on, by yourself.

The Mama Journal | 52 Portraits (40)

52 Portraits | Week 40

I've been realizing lately how fun it is to "do life" with you - from having you help with dinner to chatting as we do the groceries to sorting through the recycling together, having you by my side makes even the most mundane activities special.

The Mama Project | 52 Portraits (37)

52 Portraits | Week 37 "Why do you need to be on my lap right now?" I asked, exasperated, as I desperately tried to accomplish something at the computer after a tiring day. "Because you're my maman, and I love you, and I want to be close to you." Was your startlingly honest, simple and sweet answer. And suddenly what I needed to accomplish seemed utterly unimportant.